I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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