Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
