worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
