Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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