so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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