just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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