Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
