Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize