I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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