if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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