What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
