i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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