I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dignity is for republicans.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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