you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize