the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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