Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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