i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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