If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
