I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
