we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
