So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
