it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
