I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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