Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
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He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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