I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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