It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
