There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
