I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
