do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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