Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
