in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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