The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
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