Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
