I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm always down for nudity.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
