After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
