We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
