his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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