if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
