haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
