Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
