How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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