"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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