well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
handjob tips. give me some.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
