She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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