he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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