some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
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The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
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Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?