Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.