Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.

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(650): Not a fireman, but good enough for last night. http://tfl.nu/537l

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(858): View more from California

I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal

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(858): I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal http://tfl.nu/7yck

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(314): View more from Missouri

So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?

(816): View more from Missouri

Most never. Some around 65.

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(314): So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title? (816): Most never. Some around 65. http://tfl.nu/dvz5

Replies (22) Good night (2157) Bad night (600)
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(325): View more from Texas

Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.

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(325): Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with. http://tfl.nu/wag5

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.

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(512): I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two. http://tfl.nu/pdyq

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.

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(215): I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did. http://tfl.nu/l0um

Replies (22) Good night (3624) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way

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(519): dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way http://tfl.nu/6t17

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(214): View more from Texas

No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.

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(214): No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds. http://tfl.nu/2lul

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(509): View more from Washington

I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?

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(509): I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become? http://tfl.nu/prj3

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.

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(201): Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys. http://tfl.nu/w09r

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(703): View more from Virginia

I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.

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(703): I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding. http://tfl.nu/inbb

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(714): View more from California

You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.

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(714): You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid. http://tfl.nu/jhks

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(979): View more from Texas

Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.

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(979): Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log. http://tfl.nu/tdyo

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(727): View more from Florida

I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.

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(727): I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly. http://tfl.nu/hgem

Replies (6) Good night (1275) Bad night (153)
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(289): View more from Ontario

I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.

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(289): I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward. http://tfl.nu/nn3r

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