smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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