Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
