Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
