im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
