I don't think brook has ever known best
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
