the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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