watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He uses pillows to masturbate.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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