What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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