hotel room ftw
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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