question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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