How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
