Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
