Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
