Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
